Turbulence, by Jordan Castillo Price

TITLE: Turbulence
AUTHOR: Jordan Castillo Price

COPYRIGHT: 2013
PAGES: 261
PUBLISHER: Self-published

SETTING: Contemporary
TYPE: Romance
SERIES: None

The foundation of superstition is ignorance. First Officer Paul Cronin has no use for magical thinking—he’s a logical guy, a skeptic who only believes what he can see. When a new assignment on Flight 511 takes him directly through the legendary Bermuda Triangle, he’s not concerned about losing his aircraft to supernatural forces. He’s busy trying to hook up with handsome flight attendant Dallas.

Dallas seems eager to oblige at the airport, but his ardor cools quickly when he finds out he and Paul are now on the same crew. Then the turbulence hits, and Paul soon discovers there’s more to the Bermuda Triangle than made-for-TV movies.

While trying to decipher his cryptic predecessor’s notes and guide Flight 511 around the Triangle phenomenon, Paul attempts to piece together a relationship with Dallas. It seems that forces—both paranormal and mundane—are stacked against them. Can Paul navigate a successful course through the turbulence while he finds a way into Dallas’ heart?

Turbulence had a really fun setup. Paul Cronin is a pilot who has just been given a new assignment. It's a regularly scheduled flight out of Miami that goes right through the Bermuda triangle. Paul doesn't even bat an eyelid at the idea. Everyone knows the whole Bermuda Triangle thing is just silly superstition.

But it turns out there really is something supernatural going on, involving alternate realities. Paul is determined to get to the bottom of it and understand how the phenomenon works, and with the help of handsome flight attendant Dallas Turner, he begins to investigate. Might his predecessor, a pilot who died mysteriously not very long before, have hit on something?

Turbulence was originally published as an 8-part serial, and that's how I read it. It started out really strongly. The setting is cool, and the supernatural mystery is really good fun. What's going on is quite unique, much more interesting than the simple "Planes disappear in the Bermuda Triangle" thing. It's all very Twilight Zone, and I loved the idea of it. I couldn't wait to see how Castillo Price would resolve it and what the explanation would be.

I also really liked the romance. It's not hugely developed, but Paul and Dallas clearly share a connection and it's not just chemistry (which is definitely there, by the way). Before too long believed that these two were just right for each other. I also liked how the author dealt with the realities of an interracial relationship. It's subtly done, but it's clear that it's not all plain sailing. It's also just as clear that these two can and will work past any problems.

So far, all good. The problem is that Castillo Price chose to explain the supernatural in her story through half-baked metaphysical crap. And the more we got into the story, the more this metaphysical crap piled up. Worse, we were clearly supposed to take it seriously. I just couldn't. I found it all kind of laughable. So by the time we got to the end, I basically had no idea what the hell was going on. I read the final episode twice, and I still can't figure it out. I'm not an idiot, and I was paying attention, I promise!

MY GRADE: I enjoyed a lot of it, but in the end it was somewhat of a disappointment. C-.

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One Sinful Night in São Paulo, by Amber Belldene

TITLE: One Sinful Night in São Paulo
AUTHOR: Amber Belldene

COPYRIGHT: 2015
PAGES: 108
PUBLISHER: Entangled

SETTING: Contemporary São Paulo
TYPE: Romance
SERIES: None

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Cassie Wilson has traveled to Brazil for her brother's wedding; yet she's the one with cold feet. She's all set to begin seminary, but she's sick and tired of being treated like a saint, especially by the best man. What she really needs is one sexy night with him to ease her jitters and give her a taste of normal life.
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I was on my way to buy another of Belldene's books based on a review, but as soon as I saw that she had a novella set in São Paulo, I got that one instead. Urban Latin American settings are remarkably lacking from pretty much all sorts of fiction in English (in fact, the only other two I can think of are a Kathy Reichs mystery and Ann Patchett's Bel Canto). There are plenty of books with jungle or Mexican desert settings, some rural towns, but almost no big cities. This was irresistible.

The book is about Cassie Wilson, who is about to enter the seminary to become a priest. Her brother is getting married to a Brazilian woman, and the wedding will take place in São Paulo, where her family live. Cassie is delighted to be there for the wedding, except for the prospect of having to spend time with the best man, her brother's best friend Adam. She has long been attracted to Adam and it seems the attraction is reciprocated. However, her vocation seems to have made him put her on a pedestal as someone who is halfway to being a saint, someone he clearly shouldn't touch.

I found myself extremely annoyed right at the beginning of this novella. What annoyed me was the butchering of the Portuguese in the dialogue. I am getting more and more intolerant about this. It's always bothered me, but I used to just be able to let it roll off me. Now, not so much. It's just that really, if you're taking a culture not your own and using it as a setting in one of your books, the very least you can do is do some basic checking to make sure you're getting the language right. I'm fine with a few mistakes -typos do creep in! But here it was way too much. Within the first couple of pages we have: a Portuguese woman saying "Obrigado" instead of "Obrigada" and receiving the heroine by saying "Cassandra, bienvenudo", "fejoida" for "feijoada", "Pao de quejo" for "Pão de queijo", and many more. The most annoying thing is that I got the impression that Belldene must actually have spent some time in São Paulo, because this felt otherwise pretty real.

The language issues were just an irritant, which I could have got over if I'd otherwise liked the book. However, the romance did not work for me at all. It's possible that being annoyed by the Portuguese right at the start might have affected how I read the rest of book, but I don't think that was it, or at least not the whole of the story. The most frustrating thing is that I was interested in the basic conflict as it was theoretically set up. A woman who has a vocation to be a priest, and struggles with men not treating her as a real woman, but as some sort of pure, untouchable saint because of it... that's interesting. The thing is, it didn't really feel like that was Adam's problem. It felt more like the stupid, old-fashioned perception that women are the possession of their male family members, so he can't have anything to do with Cassie because it would be an offense against his best friend, her brother. He even goes and asks the brother for permission, for pity's sake.

There's also zero chemistry between Adam and Cassie. We're told there is, and we immediately have this scene where Cassie basically pounces on Adam and grabs his cock. Whoa there, maybe you could just ease me into the romance? I didn't feel I knew the characters, therefore I didn't care about them, therefore the sex was boring.

Yeah, this one didn't work for me at all.

MY GRADE: A D.

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The Blackhouse, by Peter May

TITLE: The Blackhouse
AUTHOR: Peter May

COPYRIGHT: 2009
PAGES: 386
PUBLISHER: Quercus

SETTING: Isle of Lewis, Scotland
TYPE: Mystery
SERIES: First in the Lewis Trilogy

A brutal killing takes place on the Isle of Lewis, Scotland: a land of harsh beauty and inhabitants of deep-rooted faith.

A MURDER

Detective Inspector Fin Macleod is sent from Edinburgh to investigate. For Lewis-born Macleod, the case represents a journey both home and into his past.

A SECRET

Something lurks within the close-knit island community. Something sinister.

A TRAP

As Fin investigates, old skeletons begin to surface, and soon he, the hunter, becomes the hunted.

Fin MacLeod grew up on the Isle of Lewis, in the Outer Hebrides. It was a small, oppressive community for a boy who wanted much more from life, so he left as soon as he turned 18. A futher 18 years later, he's a police detective in Edinburgh and recovering from a tragedy in his personal life.

When a murder takes place in Lewis that has quite similar characteristics to one that took place in Edinburgh not long before, Fin is sent to investigate by his superiors. He is not keen. There are memories and people in Lewis that he does not want to face, but his investigation requires him to do just that.

The Blackhouse is as much about Fin's life growing up in Lewis as it is about his investigation of the murder. May alternates chapters in the first person narrating Fin's life, first as a child and then a teenager, right up till the a traumatic event we know is coming and his leaving the island, and chapters in the third person covering the present-day investigation. It works beautifully, mainly because the sections in the past are not just about getting us to understand Fin as a character, but are also completely relevant to the present-day sections. It was also one of those rare books structured this way where I always wanted more of each section before switching, rather than being annoyed because I preferred one to the other.

That said, much as the sections dealing with the crime investigation were really good, the sections set in the past were just fascinating. May creates an incredibly vivid sense of place, and you get an excellent view of what it must have been like to grow up there at the time. The challenging landscape and climate, the importance of tradition, the pressure to conform... it all coalesces around a tradition that has a key place in the story. Every year a small group of specially selected men from the island travel to a nearby rock to spend a couple of weeks harvesting the small number of gannets (or guga, as they call them) that they're allowed to hunt, since it's a protected species. It's an incredibly grim and difficult task, not just because of the wildness of the environment, but because of what the bloody task entails. It's also clearly the way the young men of the island prove their manhood, and even though in theory men have to volunteer to go, in reality the pressure to do so is immense. This tradition resonates all through the book, in both the timelines.

If this had been all, the book would have been coming onto an A grade for me. However, there was an aspect I found extremely problematic. I've had a look at several reviews on goodreads and it's not something people even note, but it really bothered me. So get ready for a bit of a rant!

Basically, the treatment of women in this book is terrible. They're not developed and are nothing but objects who only matter for the effect they have on the male characters. For instance, there's this character who was Fin's first love and who's now married to the man who used to be Fin's best friend growing up. We know she left for the mainland with Fin, but something happened, and she ended up back on Lewis, living what is clearly a crappy life. She was interesting, or rather, she should have been. The book doesn't really care about her as a character, beyond how she affects Fin. That's the case for pretty much every woman in the book.

I also had massive issues with how mysogynistic the book sometimes felt. There were certain sections in the flashbacks where the young Fin engages in actions I found reprehensible. It starts when he and his friend decide to have a joke on some girls who are sunbathing topless on a beach (lying face down) and drop some crabs on them from a cliff, hoping to have them scatter and see their breasts. It's portrayed as something that's just a bit of fun, who cares how the girls feel about it, and well, boys will be boys. It annoyed me, but ok. But then there was yet another scene of non-consensual voyeurism, and that one was particularly offensive. This happens when Fin and his friends are 17-18. One of them has a crush on a girl who seems to be flirting with him to make someone else jealous. And of course, the boys consider her a prick-tease. That's the word they use. When the town's bully shares that the girl has a bath every Sunday at 10, and that there's a bit of roof outside where he and his mates have been going to watch her, Fin's friend decides he will be going to watch. Because of course, he's entitled to her attention and she deserves to be punished for not giving him what he wants. Fin has misgivings, but he accompanies his friend. But his misgivings are absolutely not about whether it's right to do this to a woman who's really done nothing wrong; that's fine and dandy by Fin! All he's worried about is that the bully must be planning something, and that his friend doesn't know what he's getting into.

Turns out he's right. It's not the beautiful girl who's having the bath. It's an older woman, and she sees the boys standing on the roof outside her window. She's about 60, and she's fat and wearing a shower cap. Oh, the horror! Euww! The way this woman, this completely innocent, blameless woman, who's just trying to have a bath, is described is horrible and painful to read. There's a lot about her "folds of pink flesh" and the narration makes her sound almost obscene. And the cherry on this utter pile of shit: when confronted with strangers spying on her she screams for help. "Rape!" she screams. And Fin thinks that's "wishful thinking". The whole incident is completely repulsive and vile.

Now, I know very well that the fact that a character does something reprehensible doesn't mean that the author condones it. But I'm sorry, you can tell perfectly well when the narrative is trying to say that something is A-OK, and that's the case here. The narrative (which in this sections is basically the older Fin thinking back, not a hormone-addled teenager -not that that's an excuse!) at no point considers the impact of these pranks on the women they're aimed at. It's all about the boys. At no point is it acknowledged that spying on a naked woman is a violation of her. Who cares about that! And that is what I found so offensive.

So much as I enjoyed the plot and the setting, I'm not sure I want to read further in this series, or in May's backlist. Things like pacing and characterisation and plotting are problems that can be fixed with experience, but not this sort of attitude towards women that can just permeate a book. We'll see. I might yet feel in the mood for Lewis again and choose to grit my teeth through the problematic bits.

MY GRADE: A C+, one that's very much balancing the aspects I loved and those I hated.

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Tell the Truth, Shame the Devil, by Melina Marchetta

TITLE: Tell the Truth, Shame the Devil
AUTHOR: Melina Marchetta

COPYRIGHT: 2016
PAGES: 416
PUBLISHER: Mulholland Books

SETTING: Contemporary UK and France
TYPE: Suspense / thriller
SERIES: None

Bashir “Bish” Ortley is a London desk cop. Almost over it. Still not dealing with the death of his son years ago, as well as the break-up of his marriage.

Across the channel, a summer bus tour, carrying a group of English teenagers is subject to a deadly bomb attack, killing four of the passengers and injuring a handful of others. Bish’s daughter is one of those on board.

The suspect is 17 year old Violette LeBrac whose grandfather was responsible for a bombing that claimed the lives of dozens of people fourteen years ago; and whose mother, Noor, has been serving a life sentence for the part she was supposed to have played in the attack.

As Bish is dragged into the search for the missing Violette, he finds himself reluctantly working with Noor LeBrac and her younger brother, Jimmy Sarraf.

And the more he delves into the lives of the family he helped put away, the more Bish realizes that they may have got it wrong all those years ago, and that truth wears many colours. Especially when it comes to the teenagers on board the recent bus bombing. Including his daughter.

Tell the truth. Shame the devil. Bish can’t get Violette LeBrac’s words out of his head. But what he may get is some sort of peace with his own past as the worlds of those involved in two bombings, years apart, collide into the journey of his life.

Argh!! This had what was potentially a really interesting plot. A bus bombing in a campsite in France. The bus is full of British teenagers. Or mostly British -one has joined them from Australia, and she's from a family where several members were convicted of planning and executing a terrorist attack in London several years earlier. Violette's mother is in jail for aiding and abetting her own father, who set up a bomb in a London supermarket that killed several people. No one believes Violette's presence on the bus was a coincidence, and according to the press and pretty much anyone else speaking in public, she's as much of a terrorist as the rest of her family.

Our protagonist, Bashir "Bish" Ortley is a cop whose daughter was on the bus as well. He was involved in the supermarket bombing as an investigator, and he was the one who arrested Violette's's mother. Bish's daughter is fine and wasn't injured in the bus bombing, but his role as a father allows him access to the case, and shadowy figures in some sort of secret intelligence organisation pressure him to make use of that access. When Violette and one of her friends disappear, Bish seems to be the only one with a way to find them and discover what happened.

I really, REALLY wanted to know what the hell was going on here. I wanted to know what was up with Violette and what she had been doing on that bus, not to mention who'd set the bomb and why. I wanted to know what had actually happened in the supermarket bombing, and what secrets Violette's mother was keeping. So if anyone would like to spoil me, please do, because I'm afraid I just couldn't continue reading. Much as I wanted to know, the characters were so terribly written, so 'off', that I just couldn't. The offness starts on the very first page, with a little vignette showing one of the victims of the supermarket bombing just before it happend. It's this scouse guy living in London, who thinks about how he's becoming a fan of this young guy who's just been signed by Man Utd, even though his people back home would disapprove. Yeah, right. That set the tone. I didn't believe in any of the characters or their reactions, and the writing was overdramatic.

It wasn't just the main characters that I didn't believe in; the whole context in which these things were happening felt wrong. Everything, from the reactions of bystanders to the headlines in the press. I could see what issues Marchetta was trying to explore, issues of racial profiling and sterotypes and discrimination, but it was as all so heavy-handed and unsubtle that it wasn't effective in the least.

Such a shame.

MY GRADE: A DNF.

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The Best Of All Possible Worlds, by Karen Lord

TITLE: The Best Of All Possible Worlds
AUTHOR: Karen Lord

COPYRIGHT: 2013
PAGES: 352
PUBLISHER: Del Rey

SETTING: Cygnus Beta planet
TYPE: Science fiction / fantasy
SERIES: There's a companion book set in the same world, The Galaxy Game

The Best of All Possible Worlds is a stunning science fiction epic that is also a beautifully wrought, deeply moving love story.

A proud and reserved alien society finds its homeland destroyed in an unprovoked act of aggression, and the survivors have no choice but to reach out to the indigenous humanoids of their adopted world, to whom they are distantly related. They wish to preserve their cherished way of life but come to discover that in order to preserve their culture, they may have to change it forever.

Now a man and a woman from these two clashing societies must work together to save this vanishing race—and end up uncovering ancient mysteries with far-reaching ramifications. As their mission hangs in the balance, this unlikely team—one cool and cerebral, the other fiery and impulsive—just may find in each other their own destinies... and a force that transcends all.

When the home planet of the Sadiri was completely destroyed, only the very few who were out of the planet on various missions survived. Most of them were men. With nowhere to return to, these people have had to accept the invitation to settle in Cygnus Beta, a planet that is happy to receive these refugees.

The people of Cygnus Beta are keen to make the resettlement as smooth as possible, so Grace Delarua, a bio-technician, is asked to liaise with them and work with their councillor, Dllenahkh, to get them settled where and how they'll be most comfortable.

Given that The Best Of All Possible Worlds' setup involves a whole world being destroyed, one might expect a plotty adventure story, with revenge and excitement. That's not what this is. All the big explosions happen off the page, and before the action here starts. What we get is an exploration of deracination and the different ways of dealing with it. Should the Sadiri try to keep themselves isolated and preserve their culture unchanged (technically, they could, since they are long-lived enough for the men to start again with young brides), or do they accept that to survive, their culture should adapt to its new surroundings?

It's a leisurely book. The small group led by Delarua and Dllenahkh travel around and meet the different peoples present in Cygnus Beta. So what we get is two kinds of simultaneous explorations. They are exploring the variety of cultures in the planet, but those who are part of the team are also exploring each other’s cultures in a much deeper, personal way.

It’s not that nothing happens; in fact, quite big things happen, but Lord purposely writes this in a very low-key way. It's somewhat episodic, but that works perfectly for the story. The only overarching thread is the decision about what path to take with regards to integration. Lord does not create some sort of of external danger to drive the plot. And through the small episodes and encounters with different people, the relationships are developed.

I loved it all, and particularly discovering the different cultures they visit. They are clearly built out of bits and pieces of different cultures on Earth, and I enjoyed how Lord played with them. The visits were brief, so much so that they always left me wanting more, but that felt just right.

There’s a bit of romance, too, but again, very leisurely, very low key. In writing it that way, though, Lord made me fully believe that Delarua and Dllenahkh really were perfect for each other.

A very enjoyable book.

MY GRADE: A B+.

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Cowboys, authors, a firefighter and a librarian

Two short reviews, one of a promising old book which I turned out not to like, and a novella by a favourite author that turned out to work really, really well.

TITLE: Rest and Be Thankful
AUTHOR: Helen MacInnes

I had Helen MacInnes pegged in my head as writer of spy novels, but this is one that is anything but. It's about two American friends, writers Sarah and Margaret, who are somewhat at loose ends after spending most of their adult lives in Europe, culminating in some very adventurous years during WW2. They've returned to the US, and since they are both well set up in terms of money, they have resorted to filling their time with long drives across the country.

It is while driving in Wyoming that a fortuitous automotive mishap leads them to finding the perfect ranch. It's love at first sight, and they end up purchasing the ranch house, which the owner of the land is quite happy to get rid of, as it's a bit of a white elephant to him. Margaret and Sarah's first project is to use the ranch as a literary retreat, and before too long a motley crew of mostly-unknown-to-them writers start to arrive.

It's a fun setup, but I just didn't like it. I found it extremely frustrating. The writing felt old fashioned and kind of arch and elliptical. But I could have got over that. Mainly, I got frustrated with the two main characters and how they allowed themselves to be treated by people who were guests into their own home. These guests are all nasty, self-absorbed arseholes, and I found it astounding that women who just a few years earlier were involved in the Resistance, so were clearly no pushovers, would allow themselves to be bullied in such a way. I was also frustrated by the preaching about politics. The book is very of its time in that area (it was published in 1949), and I got a really annoyed at the politics that were inserted when they had little to do with the plot. This wasn't so much that the characters had views, but that the book had views, and those views were pretty much McCarthyism. There's also a fair bit of how people from rural areas are so morally superior to people from the city (particularly New York!). Sorry, but I'm not here for that.

I was bored, as well as annoyed, so I gave up after about 100 pages.

MY GRADE: A DNF.

TITLE: Fanning the Flames
AUTHOR: Victoria Dahl

Fanning the Flames is a novella that works as a prequel to Dahl's Girls' Night Out series.

Lauren Foster is a librarian. She's been divorced for a while, and recently she's been noticing fireman Jake Davis quite a bit. He's a friend of her ex's, so they've known each other for a while. Both try hard to resist the temptation, but then they give in.

There is not a lot of conflict here. What there is comes mainly from Lauren’s head. She was, as she saw it, bad at being married. She did not just meekly accept that she needed to do “wifely” things, like making a dish for her husband’s work potluck, or taking care of all the school things for their kid. She resented her husband not pulling his weight. She got angry. So she doesn’t see herself as a “nice” woman, not like Jake’s perfect, sweet, pre-school teacher late wife (as she puts it, the maximum amount of time she can spend with a group of 6-year-olds is 55 minutes. She’s timed it when they come in to the library in which she works. After that she needs to lock herself in an office and fantasise about whiskey). But Jake is baffled as to why people think he needs or wants a "nice" woman. He likes Lauren. He likes that Lauren is not shy at all about what she wants sexually, and the person she is fits him perfectly.

I think in a longer book, the story might have suffered because of the lightness of the conflict, but in novella length, it was perfect. This was hot and sweet and absolutely hilarious (that scene when they are surprised in Jake’s house... I'm still giggling). Just right.

MY GRADE: A B+.

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Cream of the Crop, by Alice Clayton

TITLE: Cream of the Crop
AUTHOR: Alice Clayton

COPYRIGHT: 2016
PAGES: 320
PUBLISHER: Gallery books

SETTING: Contemporary New York
TYPE: Romance
SERIES: 2nd in the Hudson Valley series

Manhattan’s It Girl, Natalie Grayson, has it all: she’s a hot exec at a leading advertising firm, known industry-wide for her challenging and edgy campaigns. She’s got a large circle of friends, a family that loves her dearly, and her dance card is always full with handsome eligible bachelors. What else could a modern gal-about-town wish for? The answer, of course, is...cheese.

Natalie’s favorite part of each week is spending Saturday morning at the Union Square Farmer’s Market, where she indulges her love of all things triple cream. Her favorite booth also indulges her love of all things handsome. Oscar Mendoza, owner of the Bailey Falls Creamery and purveyor of the finest artisanal cheeses the Hudson Valley has to offer, is tall, dark, mysterious, and a bit oblivious. Or so she thinks. But that doesn’t stop Natalie from fantasizing about the size of his, ahem, milk can.

Romance is churning, passion is burning, and something incredible is rising to the top. Could it be... love?

Natalie Grayson has a life she enjoys very much. After growing up constantly self-conscious and hiding her body, going to culinary school was a revelation. Not because she learnt to cook (she's still terrible at it), but because meeting people as obsessed with good food as she is, and who clearly found her curves attractive, changed her view of herself. Since she's moved back to Manhattan she's embraced the way she looks and never lacks for a date. She also started a career in advertising, a career she's really, really great at. Life is good.

The only times Natalie is not supremely confident is when she goes to the farmer's market on Saturday and stops at the Bailey Falls Creamery stall. The creamery is owned by beautiful Oscar Mendoza, and Natalie thinks he's even more delicious than his Brie (and she really loves his Brie). Problem is, she just can't talk to him. She goes stupid every time she sees him, and can't get out more than two words ("oh, yes", to his question of "Brie?").

And then the mayor of the town of Bailey Falls approaches Natalie's ad agency, wanting a campaign to increase tourism there. Natalie goes all out to get the account. Her best friend Roxie (heroine of the first book) lives there. And the fact that she'll obviously meet Oscar when she goes there on her research trip does help...

I did love the idea of this. I do love cheese, and I loved having a plus-sized heroine (size 18, I think is said at one point, which I believe is about size 16 UK) who is confident in her attractiveness, and with very good reason. However, the execution of what really should have been a very fun story annoyed me.

Natalie basically drove me crazy. Much as I loved the concept of her being big and fabulous, Natalie crossed the line into obnoxiousness. She just kept bragging about how irresistible she was, and how she could make men eat from the palm of her hand (literally, in one case). A little of that might have been fine, but it's was much too heavy-handed. Seriously, Natalie, get over yourself, I wanted to say.

I also got annoyed by her very similar attitude to her career. She goes on and on about how she has achieved all her success in business through her own hard work, and how she made sure she took nothing from her wealthy developer father (apart from living rent-free in a brownstone he owns right in the middle of Manhattan. Hmmm...). No self-awareness, no realisation of the advantage and privilege it is to grow up rich, with parents who love you and give you the best education and build your confidence.

And then she takes her trip to Bailey Falls. First there was the dialogue between Natalie and Roxie. They talked about sex in a way that felt like they were trying to be shocking. It felt seriously immature.

And then we get to Natalie meeting Oscar, one-to-one, without the buffer of his stall in front of him. It was painful. Natalie randomly starts going on and on about how she lusts after him, even though this is a man who hasn't really shown much interest in her, beyond holding her cheese for a little longer than usual the last time he handed it to her. It felt inappropriate. And he comes back with how he likes to see her walk away from his stall because of her "great big ass". He clarifies that he means that he thinks her big as is great, not that her ass is huge, but still, what a boor! That was it for me.

MY GRADE: A DNF.

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